Your son is agitating about Mutant Leader Gold Edition, a six-inch tall spider-looking thing with gold accents on two of its plastic tentacles. He wants you to buy it for him.
“Dave, can I have this?” he pleads.
You wince. He’s been calling you by your first name for months, having decided for his own unexplained reasons to abandon “Dad.” Your ex thinks this is adorable, and tells you not to make a big deal about it.