If the abrupt, indefinite suspension of Jimmy Kimmel Live! teaches us anything, it's that the current U.S. president does NOT like being the butt of jokes. 

With this in mind, I'd like to clarify that my use of the phrase "Mango Mussolini," which I began using during his first term, was never intended as a joke. Rather, it summed up -- elegantly, if I do say so -- his political ideology and speaking style, particularly at his campaign rallies. "Mango," meanwhile, is nothing more than an accurate description of his self-tanner's color.

You never forget your first time. Last night, I was asked to present my completed Covid-19 vaccine card in order to enter a restaurant sans mask. I had the card on me (plus a digital version), and once it was checked against my driver's license, I was able to walk to our table like in the Before Times. The whole process took less than a minute. Honestly, the hostess could have saved a bit of time by scanning the nanochips the government injected into my bloodstream when I got my second vaccine shot, but whatever.

Hoping we don't have to do this routine again in 6 months, and then annually after that. Or, How a Mismanaged Pandemic Became Endemic.

LinkedIn could speed up the community policing of inappropriate content, like people posting adorable pictures of their dogs wearing costumes, by offering a programmatic "Put your silliness on Facebook!" button. The value of this button would be surpassed only by LinkedIn's existing "Happy birthday!" button, which provides an annual opportunity for people I don't know to send me a thoughtful, personalized happy birthday message with the words "Happy birthday!"