Grown up, sure. But watch out for those wild teenage years! (Especially if you've let it run loose on world banking, autonomous attack helicopters and those pesky missile launch codes.)

Everyone’s afraid of AI. I’ll join them when TuneIn stops playing half my ads in Spanish, a language I don't understand.

Update: Days after posting this, TuneIn started serving me ads in Chinese. I kid you not. 

A gecko with an English accent reps an American insurance company (founded in the U.S. in 1936, if you didn't know). Pro tip: consumers will accept ludicrous, especially if it's repeated.

Don't piss off the person you live with who has your medical power of attorney. 

If the abrupt, indefinite suspension of Jimmy Kimmel Live! teaches us anything, it's that the current U.S. president does NOT like being the butt of jokes. 

With this in mind, I'd like to clarify that my use of the phrase "Mango Mussolini," which I began using during his first term, was never intended as a joke. Rather, it summed up -- elegantly, if I do say so -- his political ideology and speaking style, particularly at his campaign rallies. "Mango," meanwhile, is nothing more than an accurate description of his self-tanner's color.